thoughts on time...wasting it...and school

So even though i have had the book for a while i just started reading "Blue Like Jazz." I was reading it yesterday and i read a very interesting statement that kinda made me think...A LOT! The line read:

"I believe that the greatest trick of the devil is not to get us into some sort of evil but rather have us wasting time."

This kinda struck me hard. I often feel like there is no time to do anything and then i think that what i am doing is just wasting my time. I mean there is so much that i could do with the time that i waste just sitting around doing nothing. And this is where that line starts to make sense in my life. I may not be doing evil things but when i do things to waste my time and i am not doing my part to spread the Word then the devil has me right where he needs me to be.

Now don't get me wrong, i am not saying that everything in my life is wasting my time, and i am also not saying that there is never allowed to be any time to slow down and relax. There are so many things that are good in my life that allow me to minister to others, but i often feel like there is so much more i could be doing. I always think, "Well if i weren't in school i could be off somewhere doing things for people that are less fortunate than me." or "I already know all that i need to know to be in Children's Ministries, so why do i need to still be in school." But this all brings me to something else i read yesterday.

I read an excerpt from the book "Reaching Out" by Henri J. M. Nouwen. In this little paragraph or so that i read he talked about how training in service is a humbling process. We are learning to be poor and not rich and to surrender to God and not conquer Him. He talks about how this thinking is so contrary to what we are taught today. We think that power is so important. We are always longing to be in control. This is where i realized that my time in school is not a waste of time that the devil can use. It is a very humbling thing and it is showing me:

1. I don't know everything. And

2. I will NEVER know or understand everything

Everytime i think about that i realize that i am glad that i don't know everything! Especially when it comes to God. I mean if i knew everything there is to know about God what would be the point in Him? If i knew everything i would be just the same as Him and so there would be no point in believing. It is the beauty of not being able to understand so many things about Him that makes me love Him so much. The one thing that i will never be able to understand is how He forgets my sins when i ask His forgiveness! I may not be able to forget them, but He does. It is just so hard for me to wrap my mind around that. But one thing is for sure, I am SO glad He does forget!

So anyway these were just some of my scattered thoughts from yesterday. I hope they make some sense but if not oh well, at least they make sense to me!